Another finger..

I always knew it, but tonight I saw the image of it. A person who desperately wants to be someone she's not. It's sad. Trying to be posh with cheap clothes. Too much makeup to cover the insecurity. It makes her cheap. It's sad because she don't have to be someone else.

Now, all this can be in my mind. Maybe she's not who I think she is. Like a sheet with a cage on one side and a bird on the other side. When you spin it fast, your eyes merge the two images. It seems like the bird is caged now. She is caged.

I'm happy she don't uses the photo I modified for her a long time ago. I can use it in my portfolio. Another finger which I can let go.. Bye caged bird..

you hate who you are
i hate who you want to
be
..

Blind Man

Where is the time when I felt invulnerable? The last year was tearing me apart, but the present seems so empty. I thought it was the love that was drying out. Alongside my mojo. When “us” just passed away I felt free. For a few months I was having this powerplay. But everything is a bad dream now. My shield is gone. Relatively small incidents can make me burst into flames. People try to screw me. Was putting my money on someone because there was this buzz and just when it seemed to spark, luck turned it’s back on me. Just like everything else. The only person around who can calm me down is a mate of mine.

Now, everything seems so tragic and tearjerking, but it’s not. It’s like being in the middle of a thunderstorm and telling everyone how beautiful the weather is. Makes you pissed off. The world just keeps on spinning, everybody goes their way.

I can’t find my way.
Walking round like a blind man.

 

 

Always On My Mind

All is wrapping up in the last weeks of pause.
The wind that was blowing since Easter getting weaker everyday until she lets my kite rest on the ground.
I have strange dreams of traveling by tubes filled with water, meeting real musicians and old friends.
In my dreams I'm smarter than everyone else.
Don't know what they mean.

I played a song the other day,
one that I haven't heard in a while.
It reminded me of that one morning. The morning after we glued the broken pieces together.
Sun was shining, summer gave an encore in late september.
She wore her hair loose, big scarf wrapped around her fragile neck. There was this awful noise on the radio, but I couldn't care less. I heard that other song in my head.
And still I realised it could be the last Fall
that we would spend together.. Just a thought.

No Ordinary Monday

Sometimes I don’t know what I want. I saw you few days ago.
The weather, bloody hot.
It was like a holiday though I was not far away in my own town. A place where I never stopped was the place I’ll remember for a long time. Nothing special, just people passing by and endless conversations. Your hand touching mine. Flirting.
Knowing there’s no future and there’s no past.
We were choosing the words and how the melody went.
Stress took part of me and stopped the moment we stood still and looked at the time that passed by. Green leafs, rays of sunlight, mosaics of nature. We looked at time, I looked in your eyes, there were no expectations...